Breaking Toxic Family Cycles

Hi my angel fairies,

I hope you are enjoying your day! How did this past weekend go for you? This Monday the new moon was in Cancer, which was the perfect time to manifest your desires and set your intentions. I personally did and it was amazing. I was able to get something that I’ve asked spirit to manifest for me a week and a half ago. A WEEK and a half ago. It came to me so quickly and I am beyond thankful to spirit. I can’t wait to show you guys what it is.

Be specific with what you are manifesting! I got exactly what I wanted, in the way I wanted it. I released the how and focused on staying in vibration in which it can come to me easily. I wish the same for you! However, today I wanted to talk about breaking toxic family cycles. How to set boundaries with the ones you have been conditioned to love just because you are related by blood, and how it is okay to not love them, to release the hold they have on you and to live your life happily without the pain they caused you.

In the society most were raised in, we are told that family hurting you is normal. You may FEEL that it is not, but you may have been gaslighted and manipulated into believing otherwise. I’ve been there as well and it took constant lessons, guidance from spirit and my own willpower to break this chain of hurt. Here is how I was able to. First, I asked myself how should a family treat you? How should ones who claim they love you treat you? I wrote those down and I realized that I was not shown any of those qualities. We were in a cycle of pain, manipulation and gaslighting. You would get hurt and then a few days later they pretend as if they did not hurt you. It would confuse you, it made you feel as if what happened wasn’t serious.

People you confide in will tell you “every family has those days.” But you know, in your heart that a family should not be like this. You want to express yourself, live in peace and not in fear, not to feel like a burden and to not be traumatized. And know that you are absolutely right in feeling that way. Trust that feeling. I decided to bring up the past in order to heal from them. What actions did my family take that did not make me feel as if I was safe? I wrote those down. I vowed I will not do the same and I worked on ways to do the exact opposite of what I was brought up in. Instead of taking out my anger on others, I journaled. Instead of nitpicking & degrading others, I decided to show them love instead. Instead of saying hurtful words in anger and ignoring, I removed those from my vocabulary and told them why I was mad. Simple things like that I changed, and it slowly became apart of me.

Next, I decided to no longer engage with the toxic cycle they were so adamant in staying in. When they wanted to pull me into an argument, I ignored. When they hurt me, I made clear boundaries that I was not okay with what they done by establishing distance between us. Instead of going back to being “nice” and as if nothing had happened, I reminded them that it did by not engaging with them. Letting them know that they did hurt me, and that we are not cool or great because of it. Before, I would talk it out. Try to make them see how they are wrong and how they can change. However, I soon learned that this is all they know. They WANT to stay in this cycle. But, I don’t. You don’t. So what you must do is not allow them into your circle, your area, your bubble, your safe space, your boundaries. And you do this by simply not engaging.

Use meditation to find balance and to ground yourself when things go wrong. Journal your feelings out when they hurt you and cry as well. This is what I do and still do. I found peace in connecting with spirit, mediating by working on my chakras that deal with love, anxiety and fear. I focused on what I wanted to do and accomplish, which was leave and build a better life for myself, you and my children. I focused on healing others and as I focused on that, their energy of hatred and pain could no longer effect me. If you still live with them, know that it is possible to set boundaries. It’s going to take a lot of hard work, dedication and determination. You will stumble and give in but eventually you will come to a place where they will not hurt you. That familial bond will be broken and you will be free.

You will create a new family, a soul family based on love, compassion and health. Something entirely different from what you may have had in the past. Just because they are related to you by blood does not mean you HAVE to love them and cherish them because they are the only family you have. That is far from the truth. You can create a new family, one based on the values that you should have had from the beginning. And they can be your true family. If you were looking for a sign to let go of your toxic family, this is that sign. You are loved by someone and deserve to be treated with fairness, kindness and compassion. End the cycle of pain, trauma and hurt with you. Don’t carry it on to the next generation.